-When Gifted Athletes Fall from Grace-

“Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all”

- Dale Carnegie

What happens when football players behave badly?  Our favorite American sport, football, is experiencing a crisis not limited to the NFL’s Lockout. The past several weeks have been riddled with a number of talented football players being suspended, dropped from rosters, and some even charged with violent crimes.

Bad behavior on the field results in heavy fines, while transgressions off the field might be even more costly.  In either case, behavior outside the lines is a gamble.  The tangible consequence equals millions of dollars when a player’s stock drops. Court appearances, jail time, probation, suspensions for violating the NFL’s Personal Conduct Policy all tarnish the image of the NFL  It is no wonder Commissioner Roger Goodell has taken a stronger stance on this issue than his predecessors, Paul Tagliabue and Pete Rozell.  Back then, the NFL hardly worried about the criminal element and it was rare when an athlete donned the “I don’t care about being a role-model” attitude.

Could it be that an extended NFL lockout, and the lack of strict pre-season training regimens could be the tipping point for less self-directed athletes?  As of this date at least ten players have been arrested since the announcement of the lockout, three times the number in a normal year.  John Mitchell’s piece “Is the lockout leading NFL players to a life of crime” paints a disconcerting picture of the situation.

One might say, good sportsmanship is never out-of-style.  Fans love a quality person and will cheer them, buy their jerseys and support their every venture (just ask Tim Tebow.) Although the purpose of this article doesn’t focus on it, there is no doubt that off field infractions affect the player’s performance too.  Podium Sports Journal has been concerned with this trend and recently featured an Open Letter to the NFL Draftee’s penned by Wesley Mallette. Of course an ounce of prevention and all that – But – what about those who DO fall from grace?  HOW can they redeem themselves?  CAN they redeem themselves?  Let’s take a look.

The Price is Steep

It should be noted that by the time an athlete’s problems get the attention of the press, the damage has already been done. The athlete, and their team, are required to take a defensive stance.  This is similar to looking at the tip of the iceberg. You are only seeing 10% of the problem not realizing the other 90% is under the surface.  Aside from the costs incurred by the athlete’s and their agents themselves (lawyers, PR specialists, publicists, time delays, lost training time, personal & family stress and anxiety) the teams and the league are forced to incur expenses as well.  Investigators, more attorneys, spin doctors, and record keeping specialists are just a few of those added costs when employees in this job get into trouble.

Nobody is likely to suffer more than the athlete themselves.  Consider the player’s perceived value upon entering the league.  Mike Florio of NBC Sports believes this year’s NFL draft is perhaps the most talented quarterback crop since 1983 when Dan Marino, John Elway, Jim Kelly, Tod Blackridge and Ken O’Brien were all taken in the 1st round.  Consider one such player amongst Florio’s chosen ones, Ryan Mallett.

Ryan Mallett, was touted as perhaps the best of the group yet his stock plummeted in the draft and he ended up being taken in the 3^rd round by the Patriots.  Even this move is believed by many to be a huge gamble for the Pats. Why? While a junior quarterback with Arkansas, Mallett was arrested for public intoxication and use of marijuana. Whether his past behavior is a forecast for future transgressions or not remains to be seen.  But many believed Mallett was the best prototypical NFL QB in the draft – with a rifle arm, quick release, and at 6 ft. 7 inches tall, has the ability to see the entire field.  Mallett’s bad behavior is likely the cause of his drop in the draft to the third round, and it will likely have cost him well over a million dollars once contracts are in place.

High-roller-for-now, Albert Haynesworth, defensive tackle for the Washington Redskins, is once again in the court system most recently for a charge of sexual abuse.  This accusation comes on the heels of a prior court appearance just a few months ago for assaulting a motorist. If the judge is not a Redskins fan and wants to make an example of him, Haynesworth could face a stiff sentence.  Denver Bronco cornerback Perrish Cox has pleaded not guilty, but he could face a life sentence if convicted of sexual assault.  Buccaneer’s cornerback Aqib Talib was recently arrested for aggravated assault with a deadly weapon and in a recent article in Sporting News, is reported to be all-but-gone from Tampa.  What the team or the league will do going remains to be seen.  At this point, no action can be taken until the lockout is resolved.

The majority of NFL arrests revolve around weapons and drug charges. Although the NFL has a Personal Conduct Policy which governs each player, each team has the ability to decide whether or not to address the charges on their own. The line is blurred as to whether behavior off the field is likely to be addressed by the team.  Each of these athletes has put his sports career at risk in an act of Self-Sabotage. These men still have a chance to turn things around. Their raw athletic talent is a gift. Success, however, is not that simple. Staying the course becomes treacherous when full commitment to the vision is lacking.  It is also true that many of these individual’s have social influences that are likely to contribute to their problems…aka their posse.  Sometimes old friends, sometimes new acquaintances who represent “cool” may be inclined to influence poorly.

Righting the Ship

The discrepancy surfaces when the demands of professional sports clash with the athlete’s perceived reality. Each of these men, as well as many athletes in similar situations before them, had a missing link.  They were able to grab the brass ring, but not able to hold onto it. The opportunity slipped through their fingers. With the correct fortitude, however, they may be able to move forward, learn from the past and turn things around.  Although the ring slipped through their fingers once, it does not mean all is lost.

Whether Talib, Haynesworth, Cox and Mallett fall short of their dreams, following the path of former NFL players who were unable to change, is unknown. Cognitive dissonance contributes to each of these athletes’ challenges. Their reality has clashed with their team’s expectations, their league’s conduct policy, and the sentiments of many of the games fans, even the laws of their current residence.  There is no doubt their life has tension.  The disparity of their backgrounds, being forced to move at a young age, making a home in unfamiliar environment is bound to cause a huge amount of tension. Eventually their tension must be relieved, somehow some way.  Psych 101 will tell you when people are under a lot of pressure they revert back to old behaviors, both on and off the field.  The penalties when young are hardly what an adult knows to be true.  But many of these athletes are just kids…in really big bodies with loads of cash to spread around.  If self-discipline was not part of the regimen they grew up with – they may have but one chance to learn it NOW.  That familiar pattern of early morning partying to blow off steam has led to many a DUI or worse.

What must occur?

Why is righting the ship so difficult?  It is because many of these athletes have backgrounds, influences and history that work at cross purposes with the required changes they must make.  There are three key aspects to be concerned with.

1.  Personal Beliefs and Values Don’t Fit in their New World

Every one of these athletes has a conflict between playing goals and how they want to operate within their personal beliefs or values. When these beliefs or values contradict a goal it leads to sabotage. Sometimes those beliefs remain under the surface, hidden from the individual, leading to a vicious cycle of repeated problems. Albert Einstein once defined that as insanity…”Doing the same thing over and over again expecting a different outcome.”

2. Athletes don’t like being in Situations they Do not Control.

Football is a contact sport.  It is mano-a-mano personal combat of sorts.  Athletes are used to being in Control.  Others shy away from them and will likely not press an issue should they feel intimidated (which is likely.)  Hence, control issues get in the way. Most likely they do not believe they need to change anything. Hence, they need a dose of Reality Testing.  The assistance and resources are available to them through the NFL’s and team’s resources – and -  rookie training program. Their ego, however, may prevent them from taking advantage of the support. Their posse might think it lame. For those who know better, they will gladly share how performance success and personal growth are intertwined. They go hand in hand.

3. Blaming Others is the “American” Way – Right?

When athletes are unwilling to take personal responsibility, they can and will find dozens of ways it was somebody else’s fault. The stance they adopted growing up did not apply to their current reality. At some point, it becomes necessary to stop pointing fingers and throwing blame around.  The lessons of being accountable for our own actions are rarely pretty.  Don’t forget we live in a litigious society (think of the woman who sued McDonald’s for a million dollars because their coffee was too hot).  Mentors who can help teach these lessons are critical and every team, should have several.  The man who fails to learn the lessons of personal responsibility will fail to become a man worth following, much less a father worth honoring.

4.  Image is Everything – Right?

It is impossible to be successful if you are unwilling to modify your self-image.  Eventually old beliefs need to be shed to avoid sabotage.  Football affords a nice lifestyle. Athletes displaying entitlement, taking their positions for granted, are likely to have short-lived careers because their self-image is unable to transcend the trappings. Players unwilling to adapt will hit a wall in their career. When an athlete’s beliefs and image affect their vision then something needs to change. There are basically two choices, rise up to the challenge and change your attitude or risk not having your contract renewed because you are seen as a risk and you’ve become a PR liability for your team.

Embracing Change – Easier Said than Done

Each of these gifted athletes knew where they were, and they possessed a vision of where they wanted to be in preparing for their NFL journey. They did what they needed to do to achieve their current level of success.  Will they continue to develop?  Will they reach their potential?  Some athletes in similar situations learned hard lessons, became receptive to shifting their focus and their behavior – they did whatever it took to bridge the gap between their past and their potential future.  They were committed.  Many of those players have been studied by Coach Chrissy Carew’s.  These role models she’s featured in Insightful Players.

As Jack Kerouac once said in On the Road (1957) “I was halfway across America, at the dividing line between the East of my youth and the West of my future.” Are Talib, Haynesworth, Cox and Mallett committed – or only interested?

Rising to professional status demands change. There is no room for drugs, anger issues or theft among elite athletes. These men, however, may be unable to adapt to changing demands as they climb up the ladder of success.  Playing as a professional without changing who you are for what you need to become is a dangerous combination. It is like a business growing too fast without the infrastructure in place, eventually it implodes and collapses. Change occurs when the pain of remaining the same becomes greater than the perceived pain of initiating changing.

You must learn to Stretch

Every athlete trains to enhance their physical capabilities.  They all want to improve their rankings amongst others at their position, for that is how they can earn the big bucks.  However, one’s sense of self must adjust as well…for professional growth and personal identity are intertwined.  Just as an athlete learns to adapt to different playing conditions, their self-identity must adapt as well.

What might this kind of adjustment look like…”I used to do things that put me at risk, but now I’m more mature and focused on my goals for the future.”  If one is committed, statements like these become part of their vocabulary – and they are speaking to themselves as well as the person(s) they converse with.

Change is necessary to sustain success. The process of being stretched beyond your comfort zone, and continuing to take steps toward your vision, are necessary components for success.  Resisting change is resisting success.

Success is multi-layered and people experience it by persisting through all kinds of trials and tribulations. For many people it requires a rude awakening.  They must lose something precious.  It is not easy to look in the mirror and see the truth…yet…a deep desire to never experience a similar situation again can be an ideal motivator for change.  If these athletes can reach that point, and many do not, Talib, Haynesworth, Cox and Mallett will commit to their vision and not only do what is convenient but what is necessary to succeed. They know how to do it on the field and that driving force is transferable.  It’s possible once they make the commitment.

There are great leaders in the NFL, fabulous personalities who are All-pro not just in their performances on the field – but in how they address the challenges in life.  Coach Chrissy Carew has put together a marvelous collection of athletes who demonstrated the necessary commitment – to be successful both on and off the field.  Check out the website and look forward to her soon-to-be-released book on these fabulous role models in Insightful Players.

Maintaining worth within the NFL, displaying value to a team, is more than just assessing how the coaches graded your performance on Sunday.  Personal growth and maturity is necessary to sustain success as a professional player. At some point a team will cut it’s losses for self-preservation.  We will soon see how these four players mentioned above make their comeback – or not.  We will see how their teams and their fans favor their contributions going forward.  Stay tuned for the rest of the story.

About the Authors:

Dr. Stephen Walker is the Editor-in-Chief of Podium Sports Journal and is in private practice in Boulder, Colorado working with both professional and amateur athletes on the best practices in applied sport psychology and mental conditioning for peak performance.

Loren Fogelman, M.Ed, EFT-Adv
Creator of The Inner Game for Winning Athletes System™
Peak Performance Consultant, Speaker and Trainer
Transforming Acceptable Performance into Exceptional Results.

Originally penned April 22nd, 2010

Gentlemen,

It’s almost here.  Big weekend. Life-changing weekend for you and your families.

You are going to hear a lot of things throughout the course of the next several days leading up to the draft, straight through the completion of your first season. Sometime between Thursday and Saturday you may hear your name called. You may not. You may go in the early rounds. You may not go at all.

You will hear a lot of things about yourself in the media, some positive, some less than favorable. Expectations. Hype. Where you’ll go in the draft. Why you’re falling to the later rounds and the reasons for it. Opinions. Criticisms.

Fans will cheer with your selection. Fans will boo with your selection. You will hear sports pundits across the nation declaring you are everything from the next greatest whatever to, “I cannot understand why they drafted an unproven commodity with that pick.” And best believe you’re going to hear Mel Kiper, Jr. and Todd McShay face off at length on ESPN arguing the finer points of when you should/if you should/and where you should go in the draft.

Media and front offices alike will talk about your personality, your skill set, your background, your life, your college career, your NFL expectations, and your character. That’s right. Your CHARACTER?!? Let’s stop here for a moment, because this is perhaps THE most important and defining aspect of what opportunities will await you both during and after your playing days.

Issues surrounding character and personal conduct have the potential to derail a promising career, and in Roger Goodell’s NFL, it is no secret what will happen to you if you violate the NFL’s Personal Conduct Policy. Across the sports world, we have all witnessed how the mighty have fallen due to poor decision making and bad crisis management. So please understand, your success is not entirely predicated on your ability to make plays. It ultimately comes down to what type of person you are both on and off the field and you need to understand what is expected of you.

Like it or not, agree with it or not, you are a role model to others. Your family, your friends, and children in this country and around the world look to elite athletes because of the special talent you have. So remember, to whom much is given, much is expected. That is reality and you have to accept it.

It’s fine to take care of your families and yourself, but be smart about it.

As you transition into your new life and lifestyle, keep the following in mind:

1. Your talent makes you special on the field but it does not make you better than other people. It will afford you many luxuries, but it is not a license to “wild out.” It does not put you above the law. Your life is officially under the microscope and the world is going to watch you grow up, wait for you to screw up, and see how you will react. Look, you’re going to make mistakes. The pressure is going to be tremendous. But if you limit your mistakes to what you do on the field, what you do off of it will enhance your ability to create a post-NFL career while you are in the league.

2. Kill the entourages and eliminate ALL distractions. Don’t assign titles and give jobs to people who have no experience in this arena. I’m not saying cut your crew or cut your boys loose, but make sure they add value to the equation – YOUR equation. You are the sum of the parts here. Build a strong, solid team around you — lawyer, agent, strategic PR/communications team, marketing, financial manager, etc. Trust me, the money you will pay to have solid people in your circle of trust protecting your name and brand, and working in lockstep as a unit, is nothing compared to the amount you will lose if you screw it up.

3. Think about the financial and social mistakes made by other athletes that cost them their fortune, fame and/or freedom. Millions in lost endorsements and salary, prison sentences, financial ruin, social embarrassment, and the untold and often permanent damage to their reputations and don’t be that guy.

4. Stop focusing on the bling, the cars, the homes, the toys, the women, the excess. It’s fine to have a few things, but be smart about it. You do not want to end up like so many others before you when your playing days are over. Enjoy the moment, but start focusing on the future.

5. Understand we see this every day in our line of work and no one is immune. You see, one of the most important aspects of what we do for a living is reputation management and crisis communication. Avoid the pitfalls by being prepared with a solid plan and team in place. And remember, one of the best ways to make sure you keep your reputation intact is simple — do the right thing – all the time.

This is your career gentlemen. This is your future so take the reputation management component as seriously as the on the field aspects of your game. Prepare, focus and eliminate the distractions. You don’t mess around making sure you are prepared to play the game on the field, so don’t play games with your reputation off of it. It’s not worth losing everything you’ve worked for your entire life because it can all come crashing down in a matter of minutes.

Good luck this weekend.

Wesley Mallette is Co-Founder and CEO of Comment Communications (formerly known as Elevation Sports & Entertainment) a strategic communications firm specializing in media training, crisis communications and broadcast training for athletes and sports executives.  A former Division I football player and decathlete, Mallette has led communications efforts for some of the world’s finest brands including MTV Networks, Black Entertainment Television, and Limited Brands, Inc. (Victoria’s Secret, Bath & Body Works).   For more information about Mallette and Comment Communications, please visit here.